From the outside looking in, it seems like positivity just comes naturally to some people. And maybe it does.. you know, the whole nature versus nurture thing, but the truth is that most people have to work for it. They make conscious decisions every day to incorporate certain practices into their lives in an effort to keep from succumbing to the negativity that fights so vigorously to enter into our lives.
So, let’s get right in to some of those decisions that can really make an impact on your overall happiness.
#1 Be Conscious of Your Mindset
This one is number one on my list because the most important step really is acknowledging that there is a problem. I lived for years in an unhappy relationship, barely making ends meet, with hardly anyone I felt comfortable enough to turn to. Eventually I became a cold, pretty much emotionless person who was just going through the motions of everyday life. And what’s even crazier is that I considered my inability to connect and deal with my emotions, a strength.
Over the past few years, I’ve embarked on a journey to find myself and to be happy. Sounds simple, right? Well, not really. But the part that took me the longest was actually realizing that I was in a negative mindset, and how could I manifest the life that I knew I could have if I didn’t even believe there was a problem with my current mentality? Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of growing left to do, but I am more at peace now than I have ever been in my adult life and because of that I am much happier and healthier physically, mentally and spiritually.
Ask yourself right now, what kind of mindset am I in? Am I open to and ready for change?
#2 Focus on Your Breathing
Breathing is so underrated. And I’m not talking about just the instinctive filling and emptying of your lungs. I’m referring to the conscious act of slowly pulling the air in through your nose, filling up your lungs until your chest is fully expanded and then slowly, steadily releasing the air from your body. Deep breathing has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety both in the mind and the body.
Your breath sets the pace for your whole being. If you breathe with short, rapid breaths, your mind will follow suite. But if you breathe with long, deep, intentional breaths, your mind will become calmer and your thoughts will become clearer and more meaningful.
This is something I find myself doing on a daily basis, and something I’ve taught my family as well. If you need some guidance, or prefer more of a class setting to get started, I strongly recommend meditation, yoga or Tai Chi.
Many case studies have shown that over time, deep breathing (especially meditation) produces increased levels of positive emotions and an overall feeling of inner peace.
#3 Avoid Measuring Your Success by Other People’s Achievements
In this day and age it is easier than ever to get wrapped up in what’s going on in other people’s lives. And on top of not measuring your success by other people’s achievements, it is very beneficial to limit the amount of gossip you participate in, too.
We live in a world of mass media and social media. With the touch of a finger we can find out what’s going on in other people’s personal lives. The new house, the slimmer body, the successful career, the beautiful family.. even when we know these images and statements have very likely been altered and enhanced to make the subject look as sublime as possible, we automatically compare those things to whatever we have going on in our own lives at the time. Mark Twain once said “comparison is the death of joy” and while I do think comparison has some important benefits (i.e. in the workplace, sports, healthy competition, etc.), I think it is particularly important to stay conscious of what you’re comparing and why you’re comparing.
Gossip, by definition, is idle talk or rumor about the personal or private affairs of others. Believe me, I know how difficult it can be to refrain from gossiping. It’s actually something I’m still actively working on. But it spews negative energy. And what happens to negative energy? It comes back around. When you find yourself engaging, take a mental step back and consider what you’re putting your time and energy into. Is it helping you feel better? Is it helping you achieve your own goals?
#4 Visualize the Best Outcome
Ah, the power of visualization. If you haven’t heard of it already, visualization (also referred to as imagery) is a very powerful practice used to assist you in achieving your goals. There have been numerous studies that have shown the power of visualization and how picturing yourself achieving your goal makes you more likely to actually achieve your goal. In fact, when you visualize yourself doing something, the same brain regions are stimulated as when you actually do that thing.
Visualization has been used by dignitaries such as Will Smith, Oprah Winfrey, Muhammad Ali, Jim Carey and Michael Jordan, all of whom have openly spoken about how it impacted their lives. However, keep in mind that it can just as easily impact you in a negative way. If you’re imagining yourself failing, you’re more likely to have a harder time achieving your goal.
There are quite a few ways to practice visualization, the most popular probably being active vision boards and mental imagery. Personally, I’ve started making it a daily practice to write down my goals followed by 5 minutes of visualization achieving those goals. Years ago I tried visualization using a physical vision board (having no idea that it was “visualization”), however, I found that it was not very impactful for me. I spent hours creating my board and placed it in a spot where I would see it every day, but after a while I became so used to it being there that I stopped paying any attention to it. Since then I’ve encountered lots of people who swear by vision boards. Just like with everything else, you have to find what works best for you and your lifestyle.
#5 Smile! Or Better Yet, Find Something to Laugh About
Laughter is the best medicine, but just smiling alone can cause your body to release endorphins, one of your body’s natural feel good chemicals. Studies have even shown that forcing yourself to smile can have a positive impact on your mood. Of course it’s better if it’s genuine, but if that’s just not happening for you then go ahead and give yourself a little jump start.
Do things that make you laugh. Be silly. Play with your kids. Watch a comedy. Look through old pictures that bring back fond memories. Go somewhere fun with people you truly enjoy. Not only will you feel better after, but if you do something that involves other people, they will feel better too!
#6 Avoid or Exclude Negative People
I’m sure we’ve all known or been around someone who is just negative in nature. Maybe they don’t even realize it. If positivity in your own life is something you’re working towards improving, it is essential to avoid or remove as much of the negativity as you possibly can.
If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t really have a choice but to be around that person, there are a few things you can try. Practice visualization- imagine yourself surrounded by and filled with positive energy, picture yourself dealing with that person without their negativity affecting you. Maintain your power- do not allow that person to control how you feel and how you react to them. Remind yourself that you are in control of your feelings, not theirs. And give yourself space- place as much separation between yourself and that person as you can. If the person isn’t someone you chose to have around, limit your interactions and make them as to-the-point as you can so that there’s no room for the negative energy to enter.
Sometimes you may find that it’s you being the negative person. That’s okay. Consider the thought, acknowledge the thought, and then move on. Don’t dwell on it or allow it to bring further negativity into your mind. If it’s something you can’t seem to shake, turn it into a goal. Why are you so unhappy or bothered by that particular thing? How and when will you improve it?
#7 Incorporate Happy Foods
Many of us often forget how food nourishes our body in non-physical ways. While we constantly hear things like “eat healthy”, “drink more water” and “you are what you eat”, it’s not our first instinct to think about how those healthier options effect our mental health. Foods that contain “happy chemicals” can have a major impact on our mood if eaten on a consistent basis.
The happy chemicals I’m referring to are dopamine and serotonin. When I think dopamine, I think pleasure. But dopamine also highly affects our motivation and our ability to think and plan. If you have too little dopamine, you are more likely to quickly lose interest and be in a poor mood. Lack of dopamine can also make it more difficult to learn. Serotonin assists with stabilizing your mood and making you feel happy. It also plays an important role in sleep and healthy digestion.
The best part is that these chemicals occur naturally. You can boost your dopamine and serotonin levels by eating foods like salmon, berries, eggs, spinach, dark chocolate, almonds & walnuts, fermented foods and whole grains.
In addition to incorporating some (or all!) of those happy foods, it’s extremely important to stay hydrated. Water would be the best option, but if you just can’t stand to drink plain water, there are other healthy alternatives to stay hydrated. I know we hear this all the time, but I had to include it because it’s just that important. In fact, it has been conclusively proven that even slight dehydration can cause a decline in your mood, memory and critical thinking ability.
#8 Daily Exercise & Sunshine
If you can, get outside and do something physical. It doesn’t have to be strenuous, although it can be, and doesn’t have to be all day. It could be as simple as taking a walk or playing catch in the yard. Sunshine and exercise, even when done separately, increase levels of serotonin and dopamine, along with other feel-good chemicals.
I’m going to venture to say that everyone who is reading this has some type of goal relating to positive energy. We all want to radiate positivity, have inner peace and just give off good vibes. But in truth, we have to work for it. Ancient Eastern medical models have been based on energy for thousands of years. I challenge you to make this a priority in your life, just as you would your work or your loved ones. This is your body, your life, your wellbeing.
