It’s that time of year again! A time of crisper air, aromas of cinnamon and pine, toasty hot cocoa and holiday spirit everywhere. I love this time of year. But in many ways it can simultaneously be a time of stress, depression and just doing too much. Let’s talk about some ways to keep these last few weeks of the year enjoyable, especially this year with each and every one of us also dealing with COVID-19 in some way or another.
Put Yourself First
I know. It sounds so selfish, especially during a time of giving. But you just cannot pour from an empty glass. Put yourself first. As soon as you start to feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, stressed, take some time to rejuvenate yourself. Whatever that means to you. Maybe you take a day off work, schedule a massage, go on a lunch date with someone you enjoy, have a movie marathon, whatever makes you feel good and refills your glass. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge what you’re feeling. You will be able to give so much more to your loved ones and your community when you are energized and happy, mentally and physically.
Evaluate Your Expectations, Be Realistic
If you ever refer to yourself as a perfectionist, slightly OCD or a control freak, this step is so important! Don’t put more pressure on yourself to be perfect, the people who love you will enjoy the time with you regardless. I do this to myself all of the time! And then I end up having to take a moment to step back and think about the main purpose of what I’m doing or planning. The answer I come up with is never “to be perfect”.
Accept imperfections, yours and other’s. It is ok. Sometimes the imperfect things end up being what makes something perfect.
Set priorities. Having so much on our plates during this time of year can be very overwhelming. Make a list of everything you have to do. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, volunteering, events you have to attend, etc. and prioritize them. Be specific when listing your tasks and keep in mind how much time each one takes. Make yourself a detailed schedule for these weeks. I actually do this throughout the year when I feel like I have a lot going on or a lot of events coming up, I will make a schedule with specific dates, times, people and places. By the time I’m finished I feel much more at ease because it’s not all just crammed up there in my memory bank. There’s just something relieving about having it written down and knowing I can refer back to it instead of having to recall the specifics.
Take shortcuts if you can. Don’t really have time to go out and shop for ten people? Make yourself a list of what you need to buy and order it all online. Then you have it delivered right to your house or you can pick up your order from the store. You can even pay extra to have everything wrapped for you, to save you time on that task later. Don’t have time to cook an entire meal for your dinner party? Ask everyone to bring a dish, or have it catered if you’re able to.
Plan ahead. Everything that you struggled with this year, plan for it next year. Start your schedule of events & tasks a month or two early. If you’re hosting an event, plan out all aspects of it well before it’s scheduled to happen. Save up money throughout the year if you know you’re going to need it.
Keep Up With Your Healthy Habits
I am a sweets feen! Whether it’s my grandma’s delicious holiday cookies, Mexican hot cocoa, peppermint stick ice cream, pie, or so many others, I feel like I just can’t stop sometimes! And believe me, I am completely for indulging and treating yourself once in a while. But when you do, it’s even more important to stick with whatever healthy habits you’d been following during the months leading up to the holiday season.
If you were doing yoga before, keep doing it! If you were following a consistent sleep schedule, keep doing it! If you were distancing from people who bring negativity to your life, yep, keep doing it! You’ll thank yourself in the end for keeping up with something that aides your mental and physical health.
Breathe. I discussed deep breathing in my last post, 8 Ways to Bring Positivity Back to Your Life, but wanted to bring it up again here because so many research studies show that concentrating on your breathing and taking a few deep breaths can make you feel calmer almost immediately. Make sure you fill your lungs with as much air as you can by breathing in through your nose, and slowly let it out through your nose. Do this a few times. Close your eyes if that feels good. Getting that oxygen to your brain and throughout your body will have you feeling more alert, more energized and in a better mood.
Get a buddy. If you struggle with self-restraint or think it would help to have someone else holding you accountable, ask someone close to you to be your buddy. Your buddy can call you out for having too many sweets, spending too much money or even being too hard on yourself. Just make sure you communicate to your buddy what your needs are.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
Saying no doesn’t mean being rude. Respond with a kind, but firm answer. If you don’t like saying no, try something like “I wish I had time, but I just won’t be able to make it”, “I’m honored, but I can’t this time”, or “unfortunately I have other obligations”. Even if all you had going on was hanging out at home, don’t trick yourself into believing that your time alone or your time with your immediate family is less important than whatever event you were contemplating attending. That time is important for your mental health.
Stick to your budget. Stick to your budget. Stick to your budget. Do not go broke trying to impress people.
Reach Out, Seek Help If You Need It
This doesn’t necessarily mean reach out to a professional. Many times simply talking out our feelings with someone else can do the trick. But make sure you choose someone who you can trust with your feelings and who won’t bring more negative energy and conflict to your life. We often assume that would be our family or close friends, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes an acquaintance or a not-as-close friend or family member is better. And if you’re not really looking for feedback, even a pet will do! But if you feel you are in a place where you would better benefit from professional help, make it happen.
Do not deny yourself the resources or help that you need. Acknowledge the feelings you’re having.
Think about it… if a loved one were feeling how you’re feeling, would you tell them to do nothing about it? I don’t think so, so why allow yourself to do nothing?
All of these strategies apply throughout the entire year, but the last few weeks seem to be some of the most difficult when it comes to stress. Remind yourself that there are things you are in control of. Ask yourself what this time of year really means to you, and remind yourself of what you have to be grateful for.
Happy Holidays, 2020!